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12/06/2010

Making Progress and Confronting Fear

I've talked before about my non-traditional way of finding out I was pregnant and my subsequent diagnosis of Idiopathic Thrombocytopenic Purpura (ITP).

I've also mentioned, multiple times, that I have a crazy-real fear of needles.

Well, because of my ITP diagnosis I've been going to see Dr. A, the oncologist, since late September. He originally had me going once-a-month for blood work, to test to see where my blood platelets levels were, but I was moved up to every-other week after they went from 89k to 59k in October (yeah, a nice nose dive, especially since "normal" is considered 150k-400k).

I've been down as low as 57k, then back up to 65k, and I went again last Friday to get tested--I am still awaiting the results. Dr. A wants to keep me above 30k and preferably above 50k before he has any kind of an intervention, in the form of steroids, which will suppress my immune system enough to save some platelets for the whole birthing process.

Cody hasn't been going with me to these blood draws since they literally take 15 minutes (which includes waiting room time) but he was off from work early Friday and tagged along. It was the first time he's seen me get my blood drawn in months and I think he was shocked at how much progress I've made.

Blood-test-12-3-10

I don't enjoy it, AT ALL, and still wince a bit when she's doing it. But, I'm now able to do it in a chair (verus having to lay down) and I don't cry or hyperventilate. I'm even managing to laugh in the picture!

For those of you that have for-real fears, you'll understand that I feel like a million bucks every time I walk out of the office. It's all about these small victories that make me feel that I'm making progress and conquering something that used to conquer me.

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That's the silver lining to the platelet problem...and I do understand as I have medical fears that go way beyond reasonable!

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